Oye! Yay! Eww! Ahhh! Aye! MmmMmmGood!

jeremy

...is somewhere, i thought south carolina, but his blog said florida - so confused. Anywho... JEREMY I LOVE YOU, and however much you wish friends were with you, we wish you were home with us! Try to make the best time of the time you have there, and think its only a few days before you're home and can see everyone. And when we get back we have practice and no boots!!

Best Wishes

Its the day after christmas, and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse. Its almost three o'clock on friday the 26th, and I am oddly enough the only person awake. That is not to say my mom and step dad have been sleeping the whole time they just happened to be sound asleep in front of a blazing fire. I am sitting in my living room, in our country house with a baby grand piano, that has been playing christmas carols for the last three days, an antique fire place with a sadly dying fire, a 10 foot christmas tree decorated beyond belief surrounded by a train set that my brother has been collecting since his diaper days. I look to my left and see a stack of presents for loren...books, electronics, a frozen margarita mix for school (that one was mine) and i remember his face opening each one..to my right is my stack of presents...all the new clothes i desperatley needed for that "middle" style of not too dressy, and not after practice. I am listening to "have i told you lately that i love you" by van morrison on my new ipod, and anticipating conversations my brother and i will have on ichat with our new matching isights. not forgetting about the new pajamas im wearing, and thinking about waking up loren so we can play with our joint gift of a foosball table.

whoa, nothing at all is wrong. there is not stress in my head. I have talked to al of my friends in the last few hours, wishing them a merry christmas, hoping their holidays and vacations go well. While I desperately miss some of them, and think to my self "they should be sitting right here..no right here" i know i will see everyone in less than two weeks and we will only love each other that much more because of the break. I hope some people who had to be far away, make the best of it, and know how much they are loved.

part of me is sad because I know how selfish i am right now, and i know how many presents i got and gave that werent necessary, and i know how materialistic this holiday is.

Then i accept that and i think you know what, i dont care, im going to be selfish today, because i know that really, i am much more at peace this morning because i love my family, and how hard my mom works to make a "martha stewart christmas", and love her for dealing with the family that we have to be apart of, i love my brother for acting oblivious to everything around him, but for really picking up everything, and being smarter than anyone thought he could be. I love me dad for coming so far in his life, and i love him because i know how much he loves me and loren even though he cant really show it. I love him for being so open to my stepmoms family, who doesnt give anyone the easyist ride. I love nancy, my stepmom most of all, for being the most positive person in the room, for loving everyone as much as she poissibly can, and for truly making the best out of every situation. I love jen and mike for being the coolest step sibling and inlaws, that i dont get to see enough, and for going to have a baby.

I love that i can sit and breath in so deeply with not a care in my thought excpet i wonder what time ill be home so i can watch saved by the bell with sarah. I love that i love gonzo even more because i saw him sad, when he usually always makes me happy, i love jeremy for being the best, for always caring about others and being honest to himself, and i love him for truly speaking up and telling people what he thinks. I love hart for letting me be his angel, i love lehmann for always being lehmann, for laughing, and caring, and working as hard as he does, i love him for making sure you always get the right thing to eat. I love him and kat because i know they are going to have the most loved child in the world. i love that trig and i cant really go more than a couple hours with at least texting each other, and i love that i miss my friends unconditionaly. im going away for my moms birthday and new years, and lets just say ill come home tan, so that makes me happy too. I wish everyone the happiest and healthiest new year. love to everyone, and their familes.

...today...

trig
christmas presents, red bows and butterflys.
good day
very good day
goodnight

I'm back

I was a little scared that being sick and having a lot of work and being stressed and all the ugh! stuff was going to knock the wind out of my sails... and for a while it did, i was out of it for about three days and it wasnt a good feeling at all. "Im getting better" and it feels good. Ben (bestest friend) came over today and helped out with some party stuff so yey! and trigg came over for some moral support and got sucked into helping aswell... thank you guys!. I think its funny how i am so clearly who i am once you meet my mom and dad and see what a perfect mix am i am of both of them, and why i deal with things the way it do. I babysat and wooohoooo cutest little girls ever! jules and jilly are the best! (too) Im going to bed, but my head keeps thinking about tomorow, big weekend plans that are making me happy... and a little like wow ashley whats going on in your life... my grandma saturday and cousins 10th b-day on sunday... that is of course besides the play on saturday and ULTIMATE on sunday!!! wooooohooooooooo so SIKED! im going to be the poster child for a healthy kid tomorw.... just watch!

today

so my complete and utter happiness is wearing off a tiny little bit tonight. Im feeling pretty crumy, my head is really hurting and my throat is like whoa... not letting me swallow, my glands are all swollen and im just felling like UGH!. Im sad because i dont want to be sick... i get sick every year at christmas.. consecutively for about 6 years ive been sick beggining today until the day or two after christmas and its really really a horrible feeling. My brother is coming home tomrow, and he makes me feel really happy but i havent talked to him in a while and its sad. My friend ben is another one who doesnt answer his phone and i wanted to talk him. I had to go to the orthodonist today which is never ever fun, but i had an unbelivable walk over there and i was happy that i was still as happy as i have been, even though i felt sick this morning i was feeling better. Walking home in the rain probably was not a smart idea, and im stupid for that. my mom and i arent really seeing eye to eye on everything now either. we dont know how to deal with the other one being so busy because in the past we have always been there to do whatever the other one needed. we cant do that anymore and its a huge change in our relationship. Im a little worried about my friends because there hasnt been the happiest mood hanging over us and i just wish everyone happy thoughts and no stress over the holidays but hey! isnt that idealistic. I have work to be done, that i really dont want to do, which is making me really really really quite sad, and people i want to talk to have work to be done that they dont want to do but have to. i hope ive not taken away anyones wind, and we can all be happy healthy and stress free over the break... four more days. just four more days.... i have a habit of pushing my self until i can crash and its not the best idea so im going to try and work on that. otherwise hopefully ill get some sleep.

yipee!

Jessies home tomorw
Jason was home yesterday
Lorens home tomrow
you'd think my happiness would go away

Giddy

i'm happy. can't explain, just have this stupid smile on my face. (i know jeremy)

Good Morning

I'm so tired
I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired
My mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, no

I'm so tired
I don't know what to do
I'm so tired
My mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you
But I know what you would do

shoot me

its 3 minutes from 3:00 in hte morning and im awake. i was asleep, and then i woke up and cant fall back asleep so i need some drugs or someone to hit me really hard or something. i have to be awake tomrow, i have to go finihs work at the library. i have such pressure in my head i can barely see..ay! not a great feeling. except somehow im not too mad that im awake... scared about how im going to be acting at school, but not mad. someone needs to get me out of this state that im in. PLEASE!!! goodnight all, and goodmorning to others

Panter 10.3 ( It never stops)

wow! i thought i would have things to complain about on my blog, but i have been crazy happy latley...someone should hit me i cant stop smiling. So i just installed Panter on my computer, the new system for macs for the technology illiterate, and i know im late everyone who would be as excited as i am has probably already had it forever it would seem. But i just got it and WOW, im suprised i have time to write this because i keep hitting F9, F10, and F11 to make my windows do CRAZY things, and disapear and WHOA. so yea super super excited about this, my folders are all pretty colors, but i will change them soon so they dont look to colorful, sorry loren, and The Girls Basketball game is tomrow! so exciting good luck, and jessie and loren are home in a week. good ngiht all

Which Biological Molecule are you?

For jeremy, no one else was doing it.... it works i think! take it

You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are
sweet, caring, and a source of energy for
everyone around you. You can inspire others
with your creativity and depth, and you can
keep people alive when in times of famine.
People love you...or at least the way you
taste.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Like Crazy...WHOA

Okay, how many people actually believe in horoscopes... i read them every now and then for fun but they are all generalizations that don't mean a thing...UNTIL you read one that just hits you like WHOA! I came upon this one in Marie Claire while on the plane to LA and flipped out. If you have known me for longer than a week you should be able to see at least one connection if not all of them.. heres my horoscope, look at yours for fun

http://magazines.ivillage.com/marieclaire/mind/horoscopes/articles/0,,549962_605405-12,00.html

Aquarius
January 20-February 18

WHAT 2004 HOLDS FOR YOU
You may feel like you've spent the last few months dragging an elephant behind you. You've given your all to work responsibilities. You've had to get bills paid, deal with cranky, uncooperative people, and be the strong one in a professional relationship that teetered through uncertain times. Oddly, as dismal as your situation may sound, it's anything but. In the first months of 2004, you head toward a breakthrough that will bring financial success and wash away the memories of your struggle. The recent past has taught you that you're able to rise above the pettiness that consumes others. You're not afraid to take risks. Because of this, you'll get out of a professional cage and make use of what you've learned about publicizing yourself. Within the next four months, you'll revitalize an ingenious idea that catches fire with an audience. This new year allows you to be the kooky, irrepressible spirit you were born to be -- and come out a winner.

YOUR LOVE LIFE
Sometimes, it's hard for you to say the simplest things ("I'm sorry," "I love you," "I'm happy"). But what you've experienced lately has taught you to be open about your feelings. It has shown you how much you can learn from relationships, even when they disappoint you. Last year, you made a brave emotional decision that you're still having second thoughts about, but you did the right thing. You're finding out who the new you is, and you will continue this self-discovery with someone with whom you share remarkable similarities. You're an affirmative person with a strong identity -- and the universe is connecting you to a lover who will adore your uniqueness. This love affair will introduce you to new people, a new location and a more erotic side of yourself. Enjoy!

YOUR JANUARY 2004 FOCUS
LOVE: You may think that a romantic choice will result in an either/or situation, but there's a middle path that takes care of your needs, too. Think before you act, and when you do act, don't be afraid -- everything will work out.
WORK: You're involved in a subtle struggle -- perhaps someone is trying to control you. Be strong-willed and do your own thing. This is the perfect time to entertain a far-out idea. Project self-assurance, and money will follow.

Catching Up

Oy! im tired i havent slept in ... cant figure out the math so i'll just say a while. I got home from LA this morning at 6:45 on a pretty nice short flight and drove straight to school. I got asked so many times today why i didnt just stay home and sleep, why i came in and decided to go to my classes and do my work when my eyes were rolling back into my head. I would have liked to do nothing more. Granted it would have been nice to go home and shower and take a nap first and then go to beacon and not have to go to classes but just to see people...that wasnt going to happen. The beauty of my life is i love it, i love going to school, and though i died in english and spanish today i enjoy my lunch meetings with ms haines, i look foward to seeing lehmann for the first time in a day and see just how stressed and busy he is at that moment, I would have died if i didnt give GONZO a hug, i almost went through gonzo withdrawl. So yea i flew out to california saturday night and had to leave monday night and probably spent as much time traveling as i did in LA but it was all good because my stepdad was accepted in the VIDEO HALL OF FAME.. yay were so proud :) , and i had a great time wiht my mom, and i got to come to school today and be around everyone who makes me happy. I got a little scared when i called trig matt walking out of bio, and when i couldnt pick my head up off of lehmanns desk but besides that it was a great great day. And thank you toya.. Jessies home in 8 days... so exciting! Good Night

are you happy?

After reading ms. reeds blog (hehe, thats never going to stop being funny) about why she digs jeremy i decided i would post on my blog about why i dig each of my friends. Gonzo and Sarah deserve "why i dig blogs" because well they just happen to be the most awesome people ever, and joe deserves one for driving me completly INSANE. trigg deserves one cause well its my blog...and its trigg, and lehmann for being lehmann and jessie for being jessie and even toya for being awesome! This week has been the absolutle greatest! i mean just compleetly and uttery the greatest! My mom had work meetings that went unbelievable well, and i love her! My friends have been wonderful and i love them even more. I slept at sarahs and we had an awesomly tired delirous night watching 10 things I hate about you, and laughing and trying to do work. Simon and Garfunkle were the most unbeliavble thing ever until The Return of the King, which couldnt have been better...and seeing them with trig and stephen and jeremy make it that much cooler. I love being happy, i love everyone, i love school, but really really what it comes down to is Jeremy. This isnt a why i dig jeremy spry blog, this is a thank you everyone but mostly jeremy for making me so happy this week. you are "biligerantly awesome" and you never ever ever fail to make me smile. so while i love you all, truly each and every person that i see in the hallways at beacon makes my day greater......what else is there to say?
wait wait got more. Its snowing and were talking about throwing, i love ultimate. I love that i am going to LA and seeing my step dad get honored and i am so proud, but IT SUCKS cause i can't play in the first snowfall of the year, hmpf! :( oh well..... play ultimate..simply because it makes you cool. for the time im in california...
Trig, good luck on your SAT's
Anna have a great birthday party
Sarah and Donata have fun at the library
Sarah - yay your riding on saturday
Trig, Stephen, and Jeremy, your welcome! im sorry everone else

What is there to say....?

I just got home from The Return of the King employee screening. Whoa! There is nothing to say. I feel completly superior to everyone who hasn't seen the movie yet, not that it was a choice of other people's to not see it so i am not going to say my original thought which was "you suck".. now im going with i am so sorry, i feel terrible for you.... but you have two weeks the best thing i can say is read the books, and buy tickets to see the most unbelievable movie ever. Avoid Jeremy Trigg and Stephen if they are together for the next two days, we'll be talking about it. So happy, So So So happy. Im reading the books, thank you guys for everything,

Feeling Groovy

just got home from the simon and garfunkel concert. what else is there to say, if your a fan like me you can "imagine" how out of my mind i am from excitment, and "awe". I saw imagine because unless you were there, you can't even know the half of it. I saw the concert with my mom and my godfather and his son and it was truly on of the top three things ive ever done in my life. UNBELIEVABLE!! - if your not a fan: you suck, at least appreciate thier music even if you dont like it. theres nothing i can say, wow im happy. awwww

Ive never been as happy...

I have never once been as happy as i am now. baking cookies, loving my family, getting good grades, presents..that ocasional sweet break mark throw; all around ultimate, it all comes close. Yesterday i followed the trend and wrote about why i personally loved jeremy, knowing how happy it made him made me happy, because i well love to make others happy. But this.. what he did in return truly made tears run down my face and made me thank my parents for doing something right to make me deserve his post. Jeremy's post made me the happiest ive ever been in my life. I love him, I love blogs, I love Beacon and our community and how everyone is so great ... check out his blog... but heres an expert

Why Do I Play Ultimate

Sitting in the tech office filling out my application for the US National Juniors Team, and got to the last question... "Why do you play ultimate"
Oy! why do i play ultimate... to use triggs answer " have you seen the sport?" But really, i know why i play ultimate but this is not something i can describe. When i think of ultimate i think of lehmann, and trigg and gonzo and joe and iggy and stephen and jonah and everyone on the team make me go oooo ahhhh, and i think dam id like to do that. I play ultimate because there is something about an ultiamte player that makes them cool, it makes you a better person, i play ultiamte because i have infulences in my life that i would like to be like.. now with jessie in there too ill just say her basketball is my ultimate. I play ultimate because it makes me whole, there are people with natural talent, some poeple play an instrument and love it, others act, and other program and do computer stuff. I have tried a vast majority of activities pottery, piano, guitar, drums, theather, nothings fit, ive been decent at things but nothing has ever felt natural. Iplay ultimate because i am ultimate... the sport, the spirit, the people, the dics everythin works for me and everything makes me happy. I could not name anyone thing that i would rather do besides play ultimate... so yea i guess like he usually does trigg had a point... have you seen the sport?

Why I Dig Jeremy Spry (also)

Jeremy Spry is one of my closest friends this year. While we didnt really get along last year ( our conversations were him - "you're a stupid freshman" me - "yea well you're short"). I have to say I love him this year, and i am not quite sure where i would be without him.
Jeremy is cool because:

* He helped make those those < links work.
* He appriciates my over excitedness at silly things.
* He, with the help of lehmann, got me to start blogging
* He always makes sure to make others happy, even if he has to put himself down.
* He allows me to always have the last word ... cause "you like...."
* He makes trigger mad
* He ... the list goes on and on and on

Jeremy is the greatest! - Thank you for everything!

I originally wrote this entry on december 1st, 2003.
Nine months and eight days later every word of it still holds true.

Jeremy is sitting in a small room at The Beacon School right now, working on a computer to fix pages of students who were put into the wrong spanish, or had the wrong elective, or just arent happy with their schedule...etc, etc.
Jeremy changed my scedule for me, and sat with me as i still did not understand why it wasnt 'perfect'. I am kicking myself for something ive done to him, or used him for and i cant quite put my finger of it. I would like to say, thank you again. and reach out, cause i cant think of that really special thing to do for him or give him as a thank you.

but to add to the list

* He will go see a movie multiple times to continue hanging out with people
* He will wait for me to change my mind, because he knows i will, even though i've already made a decision
* He can search and find anything on amazon or ebay
* He has the guts to do and say, the few things, i can't
* He is beyond everything else, the most important person in my life right now, who has been there, and cared, and done everything right when ive needed him.
so. Drexel is going to be a lucky ass school for getting you. but its one of those situations where we dont say good-bye, its just a 'see you later' (because it has to be)

My Dad

I am on the phone with my pops telling him to read my blog and he is very very confused as to what a blog is... its okay dad. I love you anyway.
(This was to show him that i could post... done while on the phone for the record)

The time has come...

Well, well, well, the time has come and i have broken down and began blogging. I find this funny because I think of myself as an open person who generally tells you everything about my life whether or not you want to hear it. I, however, have been extremly lucky with friends, and most of them love to listen (or pretend to listen) to me talking, regardless of how much they make fun of me afterwards.
So on this first blog... i would like to say thank you to all of my friends and influences, some of which got me to start blogging, some of which made me better people this year, and some of which just plain "make me happy." Thankfully Ms. Reed set the stage for "why i dig.." blogs, and i am sure there will be many of those, seeing as how... well I simply dig so many people. Too not make this one too long, all i can say is if you reading this blog within a day of it being made thank you for everything, i love you ... yup you're one of my favorites!