Its the day after christmas, and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse. Its almost three o'clock on friday the 26th, and I am oddly enough the only person awake. That is not to say my mom and step dad have been sleeping the whole time they just happened to be sound asleep in front of a blazing fire. I am sitting in my living room, in our country house with a baby grand piano, that has been playing christmas carols for the last three days, an antique fire place with a sadly dying fire, a 10 foot christmas tree decorated beyond belief surrounded by a train set that my brother has been collecting since his diaper days. I look to my left and see a stack of presents for loren...books, electronics, a frozen margarita mix for school (that one was mine) and i remember his face opening each one..to my right is my stack of presents...all the new clothes i desperatley needed for that "middle" style of not too dressy, and not after practice. I am listening to "have i told you lately that i love you" by van morrison on my new ipod, and anticipating conversations my brother and i will have on ichat with our new matching isights. not forgetting about the new pajamas im wearing, and thinking about waking up loren so we can play with our joint gift of a foosball table.
whoa, nothing at all is wrong. there is not stress in my head. I have talked to al of my friends in the last few hours, wishing them a merry christmas, hoping their holidays and vacations go well. While I desperately miss some of them, and think to my self "they should be sitting right here..no right here" i know i will see everyone in less than two weeks and we will only love each other that much more because of the break. I hope some people who had to be far away, make the best of it, and know how much they are loved.
part of me is sad because I know how selfish i am right now, and i know how many presents i got and gave that werent necessary, and i know how materialistic this holiday is.
Then i accept that and i think you know what, i dont care, im going to be selfish today, because i know that really, i am much more at peace this morning because i love my family, and how hard my mom works to make a "martha stewart christmas", and love her for dealing with the family that we have to be apart of, i love my brother for acting oblivious to everything around him, but for really picking up everything, and being smarter than anyone thought he could be. I love me dad for coming so far in his life, and i love him because i know how much he loves me and loren even though he cant really show it. I love him for being so open to my stepmoms family, who doesnt give anyone the easyist ride. I love nancy, my stepmom most of all, for being the most positive person in the room, for loving everyone as much as she poissibly can, and for truly making the best out of every situation. I love jen and mike for being the coolest step sibling and inlaws, that i dont get to see enough, and for going to have a baby.
I love that i can sit and breath in so deeply with not a care in my thought excpet i wonder what time ill be home so i can watch saved by the bell with sarah. I love that i love gonzo even more because i saw him sad, when he usually always makes me happy, i love jeremy for being the best, for always caring about others and being honest to himself, and i love him for truly speaking up and telling people what he thinks. I love hart for letting me be his angel, i love lehmann for always being lehmann, for laughing, and caring, and working as hard as he does, i love him for making sure you always get the right thing to eat. I love him and kat because i know they are going to have the most loved child in the world. i love that trig and i cant really go more than a couple hours with at least texting each other, and i love that i miss my friends unconditionaly. im going away for my moms birthday and new years, and lets just say ill come home tan, so that makes me happy too. I wish everyone the happiest and healthiest new year. love to everyone, and their familes.
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